Dear Me,
It’s the year 2023, and I’m two days away from my birthday. I’ve had a whirlwind last couple of years, fulfilling some of my lifelong dreams (I got to travel the world!), stepping out of my professional comfort zone (I quit my substantive job and became a locum) and investing in my personal growth and development (I am practising living an intentional life). I wake up each day feeling truly grateful for all I have, and thankful for the wonderful friends and family that surround me. I have learnt many life lessons in 2022/2023 and have written about a few of them on my blog.
As my birthday approaches I’ve wondered if there are other thoughts, ideas and principles I would do well to remember, as I continue on this journey we call life.
5 things I would like to remember as I grow older (which may also resonate for you, my reader)…
- You have only one life, live the life you want
One of the last gifts my dad gave me was the confidence to continue to live my life as I want; he said to me, ‘You have always danced to the beat of your drum…(you will do things in your own time)’. I’m acutely aware of the societal expectations of me, with respect to relationships, marriage, children etc. Having always assumed these are things I would have, in the past year I have started to question if these are things I truly want for myself. They are lovely things to have, although for some people they feel like a millstone around their neck. I’m still not sure where I stand. What I do know is I want to live a life that is fulfilling and authentically mine, even if my desires run counter to societal expectations.
The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of freedom is courage
Carrie Jones
We all need to find the courage to live the lives we want, not what society tells us it should be.
- Life is a journey, not a destination
I am learning that while aspirations, goals and dreams are important, because they give a sense of purpose and direction to our lives, it is the journey of life that makes life worthwhile. I remember working so hard during my medical and psychiatry training, towards the goal of becoming a ‘consultant’. However after a couple of years as a consultant, I felt pretty flat and couldn’t stop wondering ‘Is this it?…what’s next?’
Forever is composed of nows
Emily Dickinson
Although our society is set up in such a way that the focus is often on getting to the ‘destination’, we need to remember that the journey is where most of our life is spent; it is where the magic happens. Embrace the journey, revel in the highs and learn from the lows and surround yourself with people that make the journey more delightful.
- Thoughts are powerful; use their power to change your life.
I have been struck by how much paying attention to my thoughts, challenging beliefs & assumptions I have made about myself, and creating more positive affirmations (which I have put into practice) has changed my life. I started the year as a certified procrastinator, whose motto was ‘Why do today what you can do tomorrow?’ (no joke) and I am proud to say that my procrastinating tendencies have significantly decreased. (You can read what helped here)
Your beliefs become your thoughts…Your thoughts become your words…Your words become your actions…Your actions become your habits…Your habits become your values…Your values become your destiny.
Gandhi
We can all take control of our thoughts, focus on who we want to be or what we want out of life, act in accordance with those ideas and values and transform our lives.
- Live your life without regret
I am excited to put myself out there and try new things. I am taking chances in my personal and professional life, and challenging my ideas of ‘who I am’ or ‘how things should be’. I set myself a goal to start a business this year, having always said I was not a businesswoman. Well, I’m one failed business down (Etsy shops are hard work!) but I’m back to the drawing-board. I see every experience as an opportunity to learn and grow.
We must all suffer from one of two pains; the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons
Jim Rohn
Be bold in your thoughts and actions, all life is an experiment – we win some and we lose some, what’s more important is to learn from the experience.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
I am letting go of some of my perfectionist tendencies, I am learning to keep things in perspective and not let minor annoyances or irritations derail me or my day. I am being intentional about gratitude and maintaining a positive outlook of life. I am trusting in my intuition, in God (or the universe) that all things will work together for good.
True freedom is understanding that we have a choice in who and what we allow to have power over us
Meryl Streep
I am happy and I feel fulfilled. I am excited to see what the future holds and I hope it surpasses my imagination.
With love,
Chino
Do you have any life lessons you’d like your future self to remember? Share them in the comments below.